Free!

Well, in the supermarket today, my father, who is diabetic, was trying to get diet Coke. It turned out they didn't have any, so we had to get Pepsi.

One thing I noticed was that Pepsi had a special prize system by which you would get a 12-pack, find a special ultra-secret code inside the box, and you could exchange that for special ultra-secret prizes online, like music, movies, or small domesticated rodents. This sounded like a good deal, so I opened the box and got my special ultra-secret code. However, one thing I noticed was that, on the outside of the Pepsi box, it said, in tiny letters,

No purchase necessary.

I found it funny that they would say that, even though they had set it up so that the only

thing that WAS necessary was purchase. However, I was not surprised. You see these things all

the time. Why, just the other day, I noticed a cracker box that said, on the back,

Free DVD!

Just send check or money order...

The DVD wasn't free. The DVD cost 3.99, plus three Proof of Purchases.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that THE FOOD INDUSTRY IS LYING TO THE 

PEOPLE! They're conning us out of our hard earned money by saying that they're giving us free

stuff, when they're not. I warn the American public against the evils of free stuff from purveyors 

of edible goods!

Later I went online to see what I had won. My special ultra-secret code was worth two-fifths of 

an mp3 download.